Birthdays have never been a big celebration for me. I can be a grumpster like my dad. He usually flees town on his birthday because he hates when people make a big deal.

This year my friends told me to leave my night open. I’m not a big fan of people planning things for me so I gave the usual answer. I’ll do it. You guys can come over.  Birthdays are just like any other day. I don’t like planned activities. It feels like forced fun. I don’t want to inconvenience other people.

These feelings always come when someone wants to do something nice for me. What am I fighting here? I’m turning 32. I decided to change and get out of my shell. I said ok.

I met my 3 besties Jessica, Carla, and Jana. We took a long sunset stroll along the beach and then went to dinner. I have always felt that if you have just ONE person show up in your life, you are lucky. I showed up to the restaurant to be surprised that 17 showed up, with additional video messages from the 4 who couldn’t make it.

As we had dinner (Café Gratitude – my fav restaurant in LA), I looked around the table in slow mo as the sound drowned out, like at the end of a movie when the main character has some kind of epiphany. All the people I know are so FUN, passionate, supportive, and they are here – for me. All the resistance I’ve always had to having my birthday celebrated came back to one fundamental belief. What did I do to deserve this?

I let go, and I get it.

The answer is everything.